I'll See The Hobbit When It Comes To DVD

A while back I mentioned an incident that happened in Philly in which my truck (which, being a Whovian, I lovingly call the Tardis) got towed for blocking a driveway.  Well, it also happened to be my birthday, and what a birthday it was.  My very close friend (whom, from this point forward, after getting permission, will be called by her first name, which is Destiny) invited me down to see her at Temple University, and she graciously helped ne foot the tow bill to reclaim it.
Today Destiny also saw The Hobbit in theaters.  How do these things relate, well, grab a seat and I will tell you.
My original plans for my birthday were the day before to go hang out with Destiny, sleep over, hang out some more, then drive home, EMT class, then Hobbit with my D&D buddies.  And, in a very National Lampoons Vacation fashion, all went topsy-turvy.  I didn't plan to have my truck towed, and I didn't plan on another day sleeping over with Destiny, not that ok complaining, mind you.  To be honest, I deeply wished that I could spend more time hanging out with her.  Destiny is just awesomeness in human form, and I'm not saying that because I know she's reading this blog, I honestly do mean that.  Destiny is the Goddess of Awesome.
Anyway, so the next night I had to drive right to work upon leaving, and Destiny needed to catch the bus home.  Going straight to work meant no Hobbit.  I have yet to go see The Hobbit.  Destiny going today only reminded me that I have yet to do my belated birthday plan that I have been procrastinating on for so long.
I think its because I see movie-going as a social thing, something to do with family or friends.  Going alone just reminds me of how alone I tend to be.  Thing is, and I really hate to turn this post into a sob story, I haven't really hung out with friends before like a year and a half ago.  Middle and High School I spent as a loner, well, if by loner I mean that no one really wanted to hang out with me.  Plus, to quote a preview for the next season of Archer, my "atypical form of autism" (note, I'm undiagnosed, most likely its either Social Anxiety or Aspergers) as I jokingly call it tends to keep me quiet and withdrawn.  So hanging out with people on a regular basis is, well, I'm not saying its alien, but its alien.
I'm sure my D&D buddies or even Destiny wouldn't mind seeing it twice, after all we are all proud nerdy people, but for the time being, I think I might just wait for it to come on DVD.
Wait...before I'm done...one last thing.  I have been uploading these posts from a Blogger app on my phone, and I am aware they format weirdly, just look at the pics from the last post.  I will probably go back and edit them tomorrow after my early Christmas dinner.  Also, next post, NAKED PALADINS!!!!!

Yule and the Apocalypse

Tomorrow is Yule, the Winter Solstice, placed in the throws of Saturnalia, and right before the holidays of Dies Natali Sol Invicti and Christmas.  Astrologically, it is the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere and the beginning of winter, while in the south it is the longest day and the beginning of summer, their summer solstice.  Either way, a day to celebrate that big burning ball of plasma we named after the Teutonic goddess of the Sun, Sunna.

Tomorrow, according to he New Age Movement, charlatans, and those who think they know the Mayan, is also the END OF THE WORLD!!!

Yes, expect major climactic upheaval and doom and gloom on a planetwide basis.  People in northern Europe can expect piece of the Bifrost Bridge to rain down, possibly destroying downtown Stockholm before Thor can do anything about it.  Also, in other news, tickets have been sold put for the epic smack down cage match between St. Michael and Lucifer "Old Serpent" Satan.  It's a match they will be talking about for the next seven years until the next cage match between Jesus "Son of God" Christ and the Old Serpent.  Also, Kalki and his entourage have been spotted in a New Delhi Mandir preparing for his encounter with Kali......

Yeah, I don't buy it either.

I mean, just ask a Mayan!

Yes, the Mayans are still around living it up like they have for a long, long time.  They live their day to day, speak Spanish, celebrate at the old pyramids, and are willing to tell any listening ear that tomorrow is not the end, or a new beginning.  It is a day like any other day, and also a day of celebrating for the ending of cycles.  Yes the Mayan people are amazing and doing decently well.  Except, however, for the mass appropriation of their ancient culture and racist remarks both promoting and denouncing 2012.  I swear, I wonder who treats this group of people worse, the believers or the skeptics, at least the believers mean well, even though they get everything wrong.
After all the jokes and the like, all that's gonna happen is that a bunch of people will freak out over nothing, life will go on as usual, and those away from the cities will get an interesting show in the sky as the sun looks like it rises in that region of the Milky Way known as the Dark Rift. Sounds ominous, but it really is not.

I feel bad for all the people taken in by the 2012 phenomena, though I can understand why...

*sits down in a comfy chair and puts my thoughtful specs on*

It's because we feel empty in a way.  In out radically changing world we have started questioning all we have held dear.  We want something to hold onto, something true, something we can share with the outside world.  Some, like myself, turned to the buried traditions of Western history and to the ancient past, becoming Hermetic Magicians, Druids, and the like.  Some have hung on to their traditional religions, either becoming fundamentalist denying the world, or transforming Christianity into something new to embrace.

And then you have the New Age practitioners, following the bastard child of Theosophy and the Human Potential Movement, pretending to talk to the Theosophical Mahatmas (ascended masters) and playing NDN, busting stargates and shit; basically becoming spiritual conquistadores cherry picking bits and pieces from the traditons they plunder without respect or honor to the tradition.  A little bit of NDN, a little bit of Theosophy, a little bit of Hinduism and UFO Cult... making a DIY tradition that worships the Ego.

I could go on forever about the virtues of syncretism and the horror of eclectic appropriation, but I'll be brief and to the point here.  One should respect the teachings of others, and not try to bastardize them in the attempt to find oneself, and especially for money, like most of the 2012 movement is about in some ways.  2012 is a cash cow, and doomsayers are milking every penny, and have been since the Harmonic Convergence of 1987, and earlier.

I do have one last prediction for tomorrow.  I predict the end of their charade, and the beginning of a more balanced, logical approach to Spirituality.

So in that regard I guess they got one thing right, a new spiritual beginning, of logic and emotion coming together in future spiritual pursuits.  And I hope the masses will stand up and say the words of the famous British rock band: we won't get fooled again!

UPDATE: I do go on forever about the virtues of syncretism and the horror of eclectic appropriation.  Links put in appropriately.

EZPass (WARNING: CLUSTER-F-BOMB)

Imagine if you will, you are driving to your job and you come up to the toll, a necessary evil that travelers get used to.  So you pull up to the lane with a booth and get your money and roll down your window.  And then the horror sets in, there is no toll booth attendant!  Panic sets in, you don't want to, or maybe can't pay the fine for just passing.  And you only have one thing to thank for this, EZPass.

So that was my predicament this morning, driving into PA through the fucking bridge when I see that the lane that's half EZCrooks and half money toll doesn't have the blinking lights on.  So I go in there and the nightmare begins.

Me: What the Hell?!?

So I lean over, maybe the person was leaning down getting his or her coffee.  No problem, I sit then and wait.  Then this wonderfully pleasant woman comes over and nicely tells me that I was forced to go through (/sarcasm).

WNW: You have to go through!

Me: I'm not going to pay the ticket they are going to send me, the lane wasn't advertised as EZPass only!

Now granted, maybe the smartest thing to do was not to troll this wonderfully nice woman into an argument, but its early, I'm tired, and EZCrooks is notorious for going after the people like hobos on a cheap hooker.  I was adamant, I was not going to pay the mother fucking fine!

So I argued with, let's call her for what she was this morning, this bitch for two minutes, enough time for the bus behind me to fortunately take pity on a young driver and let me back out, much to the chagrin of the bitch and I'm fucking sure EZCrooks were letting out demonic screams of pain because they weren't getting a damn cent.  I paid my toll, and refrained from flipping the bird as I went through the toll, triumphant in my task of not getting fucked by EZPass.  I don't look like a bitch, so why do they want to fuck me like one, yes they were, yes they were!  And I don't like getting fucked by anyone else besides Mrs. Wallis (okay, maybe a bit toooo deep into that joke lol).

This EZPass lane debacle could have been easily avoided by one simple little decision: either make the lane an EZPass lane or a toll lane, none of this halfsies bullshit, that way, the unsuspecting driver does not have to pay EZCrooks a single cent, and can travel with the comforting thought that they get the toll paid without hidden fines attached.  Take for example the PA Turnpike, they have lanes dedicated to either or, and they have warnings a decent distance back as to what lane is which.  Maybe this bridge should take a lesson from them?  Maybe?

I know, bitching about it on a blog isn't going to get me anywhere fast, but damn do I feel better after this nice little rant!

Grating Christmas Music Makes the wee Baby Jesus Cry!

Io Saturnalia!  Soon the greenery will be up and I will abscond with a very naturey pre-coke Santa statue for my Saturn Altar!

But that is not what this post is all about.  No, you want to know why I think grating Christmas music makes the wee baby Seamus... I mean... Jesus cry

Imagine if you will you are listening to the radio, maybe some Aerosmith was just playing and you are in a happy place, and then the people at the radio company decide to play "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause." Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.  The adult faking what they think a kid sounds like singing, only to come off as so grating, the cheese basically grates itself.  I guess it would be great for a taco meal, or for a Billy Mays commercial, but not for Christmas and certainly not for your frail mortal ears.  Damn, that song makes even the ears of the Gods bleed!

There is no faster way to kill the holiday groove for me than those kinds of songs.  Not even Blink 182's "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" or the classic parody "Walking 'round in Women's Underwear" can save the mutilated mood lying in a bloody pulp on the floor of my soul (yes, my soul has a floor, and a ceiling apparently).  It makes me want to burn down an entire Christmas tree farm to the ground, and punch a Salvation Army Santa right in the jaw and take his money to spend on booze to help me forget such song exist.

If you want a child to sing a Christmas song, then get a child to sing it, there are billions of them, in all shapes and sizes!  I don't think its that hard to get one to sing one.  You don't need an adult to fake the voice and fake it horribly.  Not everyone can be Nancy Cartwright or Veronica Taylor, and just because you aren't, don't have a cow man.  You probably can sing any other Christmas song in the books.

I just don't find it cute or funny, I find it very irritating, and I'm sure, deep inside, it makes the wee baby Jesus cry.

Procrastination, Work, and an Impound

Procrastination sucks, especially when tied up with work...

For those who want to know, I finally got a part time job that is seasonal, so far, not only have I not been paid, but I have somehow found a way to dig myself even deeper into the red.  And with all of this just bearing down on me, blogging is the least of my concerns.  Blogging, for all I care, could crawl into a hole and diiiiieeeee!

A lot has happened in the D&D campaign, so a short summary of what happened is in order soon.  For the most part, say goodbye to about 90% of the party, including my dear Lazlo.  But you will be introduced to his brother Amadeus, a paladin who is not your typical lawful stupid paladin and has a tendency to fight in the nude.

My job.  I sell toys and phone app products at a kiosk in a nearby mall, not close enough to be local, yet not too far to be a jaunt (to me, a jaunt is the distance between where I live to either New York City or Philadelphia).  It's an interesting job, and it makes me realize that I both want to and don't want to be a father one day.  For example, one day, a little girl will come up to me, introduce me to her teddy bear, and ask me to hug it.  So. Fucking. Adorable!

And then you have the occasional kid that comes up and in a hyperglycemic fit, says: "ohmygodcanIplaywiththetoygunprettyprettypleasecanIplaywiththetoygunIpromisenottobreakitIswearprettyprettypleaseIwantmymommytobuythisandthedrivingoneandthehelicopterandthehoverthingyandthisandthisand..."

I could really go for boneless buffalo wings from Applebees, and some rum, and maybe something to knock me out for three days.  I know thats a random channel surf, but after that little paragraph, its needed lmfao.

So I owe my very dear friend who goes to Temple University in Philly about $250.  I went to see her over my birthday and didn't check my park job.  Usually I park and go fuck all, and let others deal with my parking.  Well, sometimes they call in tow trucks to deal with bad park jobs, and sometimes these tow people are rotten crooks that, despite doing a necessary job to make sure travel and parking continue like a well oiled machine, do it in such a way that turns your wallet into a beer tap, your money the beer, and they have an aching need to get rip roaring drunk.

I am so thankful to my friend for helping me through that tough little sticky whicket.  But now I have to pay her back, being a good friend and all, and this seasonal job is not paying, being sucky with payroll and all.

And thus, procrastination, and tis blog post.

So Whatever the Hell Happened to Table Plan?!?

I once stated that alternating weekly posts, D&D Stories and Table Plan, would be a major feature on this blog, and so far, I have in general kept to that... with D&D Stories.  However, Table Plan kind of fell to the wayside.  What gives Kyle, what gives!  Well I would blame this on plain old laziness and putting off Table Plan, but the truth is much more simpler.  After all, Occam's Razor and all.

The truth is, I don't really know what to say or talk about with it.  I could make it into a monthly thing, so I would have more time to plan, but then it would be the mental equivalent of "out of sight, out of mind."  The other thing is that when it comes to DMing, I really don't have many experiences to draw from, and when it comes to world/adventure building, I'm very good with flavor and building a setting.  Once I get down to plot and such, I am kind of mediocre, and don't get me started on maps.  My thought process on maps is "oh boy, I hope that map is free to use!"

I guess that's why the best DM/GMs have a "help me help you" attitude when it comes to their campaigns.  Take, for example, the game I am in now, the one "The Fearless Dragon Slayers" is about.  We are not a brute force hack'n'slash "I lift things up and put them down" kind of party.  We are a party that is more set on urban and discovery type adventures, with a type of combat that should be worked with a synergistic style (a Rogue with a keen weapon with sneak attack, think of the possibilities).  Only one party member is the one set up for combat, but even he has a good role to play in the kind of adventure style we suggested, as a body-guard and an acrobat.  Kal and Lazlo are definitely squishy while Boots and Ollie are somewhat squishy, but Krusk is a fucking beast on the battlefield!

Now that our DM knows this, he can now whip us up adventures that can work on this.  I can schmooze and sneak attack, Kal can buff and debuff, and Ollie can ask for "donations" to the church of Olidammara and so on and so forth.  It's like sex, you have to tell your partner what you like, and your partner has to let you know what he/she likes.  Words like harder and faster should not be a discouragement, but a chance to commit and make things awesome!  Same with campaigns.  You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is turning into a Table Plan?

While on the subject, post-game, we all sat down and talked of this very thing, and the possibility of making our own setting came up.  This is "help me help you" in it's ultimate form, and by the Gods is it brilliant!

Skyfall and Spoilers

I went and saw Skyfall, the new 007 movie at midnight.  I must say, it is now one of my favorites definitely.  Beforehand, I also started reading Carte Blanche, the new 007 novel.  So, despite all the amazing James Bond stuff from yesterday, there is only one thing I have to say:

I must admit, that last one there has to be my favorite, and I still laugh looking at it lmao.

D&D Stories: The Fearless Dragon Slayers #2

I know this was supposed to be up a week and two days ago, but with the hurricane and general laziness and busyness, here I am posting a short and sweet version of this today:

So we got back to town from slaying the Satyrs, passing a party of adventurers on the way back who were coming to do the job we just did (and one of the is a Paladin, one too lazy to detect evil).  Upon returning to the in, we get hired by a guy named Jonusa who owns a mansion outside of Kormine.  He wanted to sponsor the party, as well as hire them to get rid of ghosts in his house.   While exploring his mansion, we discover a secret room with a diary in the basement (and a way to get to the room from the pantry).  At dinner, we meet with Kel, a half-elf (actually half-drow, but hey, we can't figure out the Jess the Maiden is a succubus with all the evidence presented, so Kel will be a hal-elf until the day we die).  Kel is the replacement character for Vargus, who, that night, tries to investigate a ghost while the rest of the party is too busy to notice (and I'm too busy getting drained in two ways by a succubus ;) lol).

Knowing from a ghostly encounter we had with Jonusa's wife's ghost, we barge into his room and break into the attic, in which we find a Flesh Golem!

Yes, we are fighting a Flesh Golem, in a thunder-storm, while it is attached to a lightning rod.  This is not going to end well.  Plus, only Krusk can damage it.  So I was, in general, useless this battle.  However, since most of the Flesh Golem was Jonusa's late wife, and he had to steal and grave-rob for the other parts (as well as acts of necromancy), we had to bring him to justice, so our Lawful Good half-orc fighter suggested.  I tried to reason with Jonusa, where he would sponsor us for free, but he still refused, and I try to pistol whip him with my hand crossbow.  So when he ran off to get us arrested for assault, I took the Flesh Golem body into the main atrium, so when the town guard walks in, they see a nice lovely pile of rotting flesh on the carpet (as well as a missing painting and a few missing candlesticks, maybe not the brightest idea).

Kel casts a Rope Trick to send us into an extradimensional space, into which Ollie tried to bring a Bag of Holding into.  So yeah, we narrowly avoided the end of the world in our DM's setting (or something equivalent to Bart's megaphone prank combined with FUS RO DAH).  Again, I get drained by the succubus (I should mention that Vargus before his death gave me his Cloak of Resistance).  However, the next day, while getting ready to go on the airship from before, Kel almost discovers the succubus, however, her magical wiles win the day for her, but now we are heavily suspicious.  Another thing we become suspicious about is how suddenly, Ollie cannot cast spells.  That, and the slave labor of the ship being enchanted somehow, and excited and nervous to go see "the Master."

Trust me, I wish!

So we get to the island, to find a tower, and to find Ollie tied up in the bowels of the ship.  As it turned out, a doppleganger was investigating what was going on, and disguised itself first as Ollie, and then as the captain.  So "the Master" turns out to be a Mind Flayer.  Oh joy!  And yes, most of us get charmed besides Ollie (the real Ollie), and Kel.  Doesn't last long, since the Mind Flayer accidentally attacked us, dispelling it's charm.

And so the fight begins!  I draw first blood with a crossbow bolt at a charmed crewman.  So yes, we have to slaughter our way through the crew.  I sure hope someone survives who can fly the ship.  Kel casts fly on Krusk, who is now fighting a flying Mind Flayer (the MF cast fly in himself, or itself, can't tell gender with aberrations).  So now picture this awesome scene before you go to bed tonight: A human firing a hand crossbow while getting attacked by the captain of the airship while a flying half-orc fights a flying mind flayer with a spear... AWESOME!  I asked a few artistic friends of mine to try and make that scene an actual print, hopefully I can show it off on here in the future!

Oh yeah, and the captain, remember how I told him my name was Roxlin, well in a scene Quentin Tarantino would have loved, I have a "the name is Bond, James Bond" moment, and begin carving my name into his body.

So I go from James Bond to Pulp Fiction

Well needless to say, we win the battle, some of the crew survived, and the captain will forever know that my name is not Roxlin Oxlin.  Oh, but what killed the Mind Flayer?  Well, Jess the maiden was charmed, and upon getting uncharmed, was so angry a Vrock came in and killed the Mind Flayer, totally not because we were about to have a TPK at all.

I Voted!

"Is voting! I am glad to not only take part in a huge election, but to continue this ancient tradition of the popular vote stretching all the way back to the Greeks :)"

-My post on Facebook

I did it, I continued this wonderful and ancient tradition of the popular vote, that we have a right to control our own lives.  It is a very empowering experience to be honest.  I have voted before, but never before have I voted in an event so big (and polarized).  At this moment I just want to state that I do not care who you vote for, I just care that you vote.  Sure, I would hope one candidate would become elected over the other for president, and that I hope another candidate would get enough votes to be noticed by the media that we are more than two parties; but despite that, just voting is what's important (and in all actuality, if it wasn't so close a race, I would have voted for Gary).

Why is voting so important?  We are a nation born of the Enlightenment, born on Enlightenment values, that all men are equal and free.  I know some of our Founding Fathers were slave owners and that all men originally meant all white men, no one is perfect, and neither is any society perfect, but what matter is that today we really do try to live up to that principal of equality.  All democratic systems, whether Republic or Parliament or the like, are all based on what the people want.  From modern countries like the USA, the UK, Japan, etc.; and all the way back to the city-state of Athens, democracy was considered a virtue, despite all of its flaws.  I to, love democracy, flaws and all.

I also am proud that voting and democracy is a Pagan tradition.  I really don't want this to turn into a Pagan blog.  Yes, I am a Pagan, but that is not what this blog is all about.  This blog is about my life, and my commentary on life, and while Paganism plays a role in it, it's not the end all be all of this blog.  That being said, I am proud of those ancient ancestors, devoted to Athena, who upheld and were one of the first to practice the popular vote.  To the Greeks, even the Gods voted!  I to, love that we find mythic meaning in the vote, even today.

But in the end, I am glad to not only take part in a huge election, but to continue this ancient tradition of the popular vote stretching all the way back to the Greeks.  And I hope in the far-flung future, in an interplanetary society, we still vote to elect our leaders.

A Doozy

Boy Hurricane (and yes, hurricane, not super-storm or stormaggedon, or the end of the world, see my previous post for all about that) Sandy was a doozy!

Not much to report, survived the storm, survived a power outage, and survived cabin fever (Skype Mobile with a very amazing person helped out a lot).  Not much to report, only to let everyone know that I am okay.

To any of my readers who were also affected by the storm, I hope you are okay to.  I hope you didn't lose too much, and I hope what was lost can eventually be replaced or fixed.  And remember, in the end, I hope you have the most important thing, people to be with at this time.  Some people find the idea of the power of love and friendship to be a sappy cliche, but it is a cliche for a reason, because it freaking works.

Kitties showing off a good example of friendship

 

May the Gods watch over and bless you.  It's not often I get all spiritual, but in the face of this, it's hard not to.  May you be wrapped in the arms of the Goddess and guarded by her aegis.  May the Spirits of Place ward you as you return to your homes if you lived in an area really affected by the storms.

Last but not least, I hope you can find joy in the moment.  Some people like to just dive on into the depression moments like this can cause, especially when there is confusion and hype.  Find some joy, find something humorous despite it all, that way, you know your soul hasn't been defeated.

Fish Story: or how modern Media over exagerates for viewcount

I am not the one to tempt fate, nor am I one to constantly dote over something bad.  After all, shuo Cao Cao, Cao cao jiu dao (speak of Cao Cao, and Cao Cao arrives).  I'm also a realist, I know when things can get bad, and how to prepare for it to be safe.  I am neither a survivalist or a "what could go wrong" kind of guy.  That is why I view Hurricane Sandy as what it is, a hurricane, a simple force of nature.  A powerful one, but nature none the less.  It is not the end of the world, it is not the wrath of God, it is not a freak accident.  Or, as I remember the joke going, call Pluto a meteor and it will start acting like one.  Make Sandy into the apocalypse, and it will be the apocalypse!

But Kyle, you may be saying, how does this work back to the modern Media.  We must remember that the Media is a very powerful force, it makes or breaks the opinions of millions.

I feel an image-based running gag beginning, but then again, this was an awesome movie

I would leave it with that, but I don't want to me misconstrued as some sort of conspiracy theorist watching Alex Jones like he's going out of style and jacking it like a fiend to Soldier of Fortune.  First of all, I find Alex Jones to be a prick and a bastard milking the paranoid for all they are worth, and is in my mind, the real life Elliot Carver in some ways.  What does that have to do with the Media, well, not much, but he is a good example of what I mean.  Plus, any excuse to slam on Alex Jones makes it a good day ;).

Second of all, criticizing the Media for what amounts to "I have all the answers, watch me," does not a conspiracy theorist make.  Guys, I'm not some sort of savant or guru, in fact, it could also be said that I to engage in such a ploy at times.  Its only human nature.  However, with logic and common sense, you can easily see beyond it.

So, when I see the over hyping and the "imagined version" of the hurricane being passed off as some sort of unquestioned holy writ, of course I will get a little skeptical.  Now, if I lived closer to the shore, I would probably be worried, but I'm up in the mountains.  I don't think the Biblical Flood is happening again any time soon to sweep us all away.  As a Pagan, I would look at that and just be like "well fuck..." and just accept my fate like a boss.  But as long as you don't do anything fool-hardy and be prepared for it, then you should be okay, whatever the Media tells you.

How the Media has made this hurricane look at times.

So what lesson can we take from this blog post today?  Well, I think the main lesson is that we should take the stories we hear with a grain of salt.  Especially true in America, a lot of our media is based on how to get  higher view-counts/ratings.  If we can get beyond that, then we can get to the actual news.  We also should remember that the forces of nature are just that, forces of nature.  If we accept that, then everything should be fine if we are prepared.

I will admit though, I had plans on going to a Samhain ritual/party in Philly.  ANd now all I can think about is the storm saying in Danny DeVito's voice, "I don't think so."

Belated Comic-Con Experience Blog

I do realize that it has almost been a week and I have yet to post news about my New York Comic-Con experience.  I know I never said that there would be a blog about it, but generally it could be assumed that there would be.  So here it is, for you to read!

But first, a theme for my trip!

The morning bus ride was interesting enough, the bus was full and my friends and I were scattered around the bus taking up the seats left over.  It's kind of awkward, sure, but it beat waiting around for the next bus.  Things wouldn't get awkward again until we got into an accident right before the Lincoln Tunnel.  I guess driving incompetency is everywhere.  Besides that, our trip there was rather uneventful, just wished that I brought like my iPod or my DS so I had something to occupy myself with.  Then again, it's New York City, and we know what they do to people who are occupying.

So we get into the Javits Center, waited in line, I got into my costume as the Tenth Doctor, and went on in.  One thing that immediately amazes you is just the immensity of the place.  This was not the small Anime Festival I went to three years prior.  Damn, I mean this simple center became the Mecca for all things nerdy, and it was glorious!  Not just Anime, but also Gaming (both video and table-top), Comics, Steampunk, Zombies...

And let's not for get Doctor Who! (Yes, that's yours truly BTW)

 

One thing I was realy looking forward to was meeting Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor from 1982-1984 taking on the role after Tom Baker.  I will admit, I haven't seen a whole lot of the old series, mainly trying to find it online since money is a bit tight right now, but what I have seen I really liked.  I really did like the introduction of the Fifth Doctor in Castrovalva (and the guy in front of me in the autograph line actually brought the DVD to be autographed).  Right before meeting Peter Davison, I hit up the Doctor Who booth, getting the above picture taken by a girl I believe was dressed as Princess Zelda, and getting a print of the Dalek/Ironside "To Victory" poster.

 

I think one of the most unexpected finds, besides Dystopia Rising, was the announcement of an HD remake of Okami.  I loved Okami, and I have yet to play Okamiden.  Then again, I love games that let you explore and take in the world around you.  This would explain my love for Zelda-esque adventures, Metroidvanias, RPGs in general; as well as why I fail miserably in games like Call of Duty.

 

How I picture myself in Call of Duty (second reference to this episode of Archer... damn lol)

 

I once wrote an essay on the sort of metaphysical nature of such huge gathering of niche communities, and how they take the form of a sort of civil religion.  I know people who have their who year revolve around Comic-Con like how the Jewish culture has new year on Rosh Hashana or the Neopagan Samhain (more on Samhain soon BTW).  I certainly do feel this presence while at Comic-Con.  Free Hugs, more than just a physical embrace, can also represent the sort of emotion hug one gets upon entering.  Here the nerd is welcomed, and is at home.  It is not every day we get to let our freak flags fly and get down and nerdy.

The ride home was rather uneventful, and a late dinner at a local diner back in my hometown of Phillipsburg signaled the end of that wonderful day.  Soon pictures would be posted, gifts given, and blog posted; yet I still think back to that day.  When the introvert that I am can just let his guard down for twenty-four hours, and just be himself.

It's been eight days since the "New Year," and so far, year 1 is looking like a pretty good year ;)

The Most Annoying Sound in the World

I love EMS work, I really do.  I'm even training to become an EMT, and am interested in doing it professionally.  I really love helping people and caring for them until the doctor takes a whack at it.  But there are some times, like: trying to sleep at 3 in the morning, intimate romantic and/or sexual conversations with your partner, about to finally beat Baramos in DWIII on your own (I never did), eating a feast, even during a wedding; when the pager kind of sounds like this...

D&D Stories: The Fearless Dragon Slayers #1

Man, this session reminds me of a gamer's bit of blind faith in luck and what many jokingly called the "Random Number God."  All our rolls started out so crappy, like, hilariously crappy.  So, some establishing knowledge:

After raiding a ruined desert treasury for a Dwarven army, we encountered a Sphinx who have us a quest to seal an Efreeti inside of a lamp.  After walking through a magic door, we saw the destruction said Efreeti had caused, burning down small desert towns.  We managed to seal the Efreeti, and guide the displaced villagers to a nearby village.

And then, Ollie, our cleric of Olidammara, is commanded by his God to steal a precious golden urn from the town's temple to Pelor, God of the Sun...

Let me get the music started for you... Iiiiiits Bad Wolf Company's Flyyyyying Circus!

So Lazlo and Ollie head off to the temple of Pelor, but not before Lazlo meets a beautiful young maiden who immediately glomps him and becomes attached.  So anyway, Ollie and Lazlo head to the temple, and while Ollie used his knowledge of religion to convince the priests to come upstairs for discussions on an addition, I planned the heist of the urn.  The plan: with my insane bonuses to Bluff and Diplomacy, I could intentionally drop the urn, challenge an imaginary thief, and take the urn for fixing in the city of Kormine (which I did know a guy there who could, so that wasn't a lie).  And so we roll our Bluff and Sense Motive checks.

Bluff..... 2!!!!!! A fucking two.
Sense Motive...... 19!!!!! Not even my bonuses could beat their check.  Now granted, all they knew was that I was lying about the thief, the wild accusations they lept to.  So a huge commotion involving all the priests in the temple and the town guard and a Zone of Truth (which I handled pretty well, so much for lies of omission being lies none-the-less), I got out with only a measly fineand banishment.  Like we would ever visit this place again, ya know?  And I got my revenge, I convinced enough people in the town that there was a free feast at this temple, a temple that was small and poor.

Worked out well for Ollie, and the short fuse of Vargus the Barbarian Mountain Dwarf helped things along.  Ollie used the commotion to cast three spells: Obscuring Mist, Invisibility on the urn, and Disguise Self on himself to look like a Priest.  Yeah, we needed to escape.  And so we did, back to the magic door and into the Sphinx's domain.  Lazlo stayed outside the chamber with Jess the Maiden, who convinces Lazlo that it is a good idea to become a couple (a Will save I fail miserably by the way).  However, we got a nice set of treasure, including an Ioun Stone that makes the user not need to eat or drink (of course given to the one who has a ring that does the same thing), and a Robe of Useful Items for me.

So now we wondered where to go.  We wanted to get far away from this desert.  So Jess the Maiden suggested the city of Kormine, where they are building a huge tower that, as we guessed, could be trouble with the war between the Dwarves and Humans brewing (and us questioning the DM if he played Fable or Shin Megami Tensei).  Upon reaching Kormine, it was hard to miss said tower, and the HUGE FUCKING AIRSHIP DOCKED THERE!  This was not looking like a good situation for anybody involved, not at all.

And then Jess convinces Lazlo to have sex every night... (a check I also fail miserably).  I think we know what Jess is by now, if not, then maybe the clue that I felt weakened, drain, and like shit in the morning (aka Level Drain) might clue you in.  Despite the drain, my investigation of the tower was very fruitful.  While Ollie and Vargus investigated the thieves guild (and Krusk gets bored because of the lack of combat), Lazlo investigates the airship as a whole, and discovers a plan of using slave labor to commit genocide on nearby islands so the rich can build resorts.  Ethics, the Humans have none!

With a week to kill until the airship launches, we decided to take on some quests.  Our first was to slay some salamanders that were attacking nearby farmlands.  Before I continue, I must mention that, while in Kormine, I got my already +1 Rapier enchanted with Keen.  This came in handy during this fight, in which despite being the squishiest in the group, had what could be considered one of the greatest killstreaks in the game so far, mainly thanks to sneak attack.  Even Jess the Maiden comes in to help out, making us suspicious of what she really is (that and the DM threw us a small bone).

With this, the Bad Wolf Company was born!  And that totally wasn't a Doctor Who reference!

I mean, granted, we were a team every since the Red Dragon we fought in a volcano (in which I almost had to roll up a new character), but we had no name.  Hell, we didn't even name our horses, and we rode them through the desert.  At least it was good to get out of the rain, am I right?

And so we begin quest two, here, let me get the fitting music out...

Trust me, the zaniness of the Can Can is fitting!

Our second quest (and last one of the evening, due to a fight so long it makes Helms Deep look short), was to protect a sacred grove from defilers.  Vargus couldn't help but laugh at the Elven worship of trees, which made our employer less than amused with us.  Upon getting to the grove, we encounter a Nymph who guarded the grove, who feared the Satyrs amassing nearby (as well as worrying about the Salamanders, it's not like Elemental Gates need to be opened by Wizards or anything right?  Right?), and feared for her safety.  I mean, Satyrs are known for raping Nymphs.

What we didn't realize, besides how bad my Negative Levels would affect me, was that Satyrs have music, which can have magical affects on their opponents, like sleep, or making the bravest of our party (aka, Krusk) run faster than an Olympic athlete.  We also didn't account for the affects Confusion and Sound Burst can have, as well as that unless its energy or cold iron, Satyrs have Damage Reduction.  So much for an easy battle against a party of Satyrs!

So after being asleep for like five rounds, someone wakes me up (Jess, gotta keep the livestock safe ya know), and I proceed to show my gratitude for the lovely music by throwing powdered glass into the eyes of the chief of the Satyrs (thanks to the Spoony One for that tidbit).  The DM fudged rolls in our favor just so this battle could end.  I obtained the killing blow on the last Satyr with my +1 Shock Hand Crossbow, with a James Bondish one-liner to boot.

"Don't mess with a bastard, you will be bolting to death that way."

Though I wish I did something like this...

And that concluded this game session.  Oh, and by the way, for the thick, Jess is a Succubus. 

ADDENDUM: I want to apologize the constant shifting of referring to my character by his name (Lazlo), and with referring to myself in first-person.  I'll probably stick with first person for Lazlo for future updates.

D&D Stories and Table Plan

I have two new series to begin talking about on here.  Alternating weekly, are two gaming based posts.  The first is D&D Stories, the continuing sagas of the games I am playing in.  The second is Table Plan, which is a How-To guide to gaming and DM'ing.  While I use D&D related terms for these stories, I will also describe Pathfinder and other RPG's in these posts.

So consider this the launching day of these posts, posted every Monday!

I will begin by introducing the characters from the latest game:

Lazlo, a Human Rogue (played by me)
Ollie, a Halfling Cleric of Olidammara
Vargus, a Dwarf Barbarian
Krusk, a Half-Orc... I'll have to get back to you on the class
Noli, a Human Fighter

So far, we accepted a quest to slay a dragon (and won), thus gaining ourselves a reputation in the Dwarven Kingdom, and have undertaken a quest in the desert, involving a Lamia (and twenty in-game minutes of trying to find a little girl trapped under the sand, we didn't know about ventriloquism), a Sphinx, and a Djinni.  And my rogue, well this picture will tell you what kind of rogue I am playing...

The first D&D Stories: The Fearless Dragon Slayers will be posted next Monday!

And for Table Plan #1, How to Get Started Gaming?

Well, gaming is a fun social experience to get involved in.  People assume it's some nerdy past time where nerds can get together and live out Lord of the Rings, and yeah, that's generally it, but it's much more than that.  There is the chance to do the things we cannot normally do, and I don't mean the slaying of dragons or the raiding of long abandoned ruins taken over by Yuan-Ti.  No, I mean some of the deep comradery that is rare today unless you are in the military, or the time to plan out a journey (that in this world of the 9-5 plus reality TV after work, is also uncommon).  Gaming is fun, it's telling, and cathartic, and did I forget to mention fun?

So, you must first gather some friends.  While it does help to have someone who has experience gaming, experience is not necessary.  With modern technology today, you can also find a meet-up group, or find one through your local hobby/game store.  While it is possible to play a game by yourself (I've done it, and 4E D&D lays out suggestions if you are doing that), this game is meant to be played with others.  I mean, it can be boring to play by yourself (unless Redtube, but I digress).

Next, you need the Core Rulebooks, these are the books that have the rules and necessary fluff to play the game.  Some games, like Pathfinder, have most of their rules conveniently bundled into a single Core Rulebook.  Other games, like D&D, have DM material separated from the Player rules.  With 3.5, you can find SRD material on the internet, and through a simple Google search as well.  Praise the Open Gaming License, hallelujah, om namah shivaya, blessed be!

Finally, read the books and dive on in.  You can read the books cover to cover and take notes on it, but the best way to get to know the rules and mechanics is to just dive in, mix up the rules, accidentally give ranged weapons flanking, do a TPK as a DM.  But most importantly, have fun!

Good Heavens!

Just look at the time!

New York Comic-Con is next weekend!

Fuck Yeah!

The last time I have been to a convention was last year with my friend Andrew.  I don't remember the name of it, but it was video game related.  I remember getting a poster of the overworld of Dragon Warrior III, and missing out on the chance to see the Angry Video Game Nerd.  I also remember my ex basically cock-blocking me (metaphorically speaking) at every turn, because at the time apparently, having fun without her and not waiting on her hand and foot was something akin to blasphemy.

With Comic-Con, the last time I went it was just the Anime Festival, and it was 2009 with my friend Brandon.  The next two consecutive events failed to happen for me because: 2010, my friend's car breaks down the night before the event; 2011, apparently, hunting the big game (i.e. Bigfoot) was more important.

More Important than Comic-Con

This year, I will not be deterred, I will not be stopped.  Like Lady Godiva, I'm gonna go go go, there's no stopping me!  And this year, I have money to, I will get shit, more shit than I would know what to do with.

And the day after, it's D&D day, nerdgasm!

Ending a Hiatus

Sometimes we find ourselves with anew project, let's say we want to replace the cabinets in the kitchen, bringing the decor out of the 60's and into the modern age.  After conceptualizing and planning, we get our tools, get the materials needed, and we get to work; and boy do we work!  We go into these things with a gung-ho attitude, and every night we dream of standing in a kitchen to make the likes of Martha Stewart jealous.  Our kitchen will be the one that Gordon Ramsey tells restaurants in Kitchen Nightmares to be more like.  We will become the Gods of Kitchens and Interior Decorating.

And then two months later the truth comes in.  Suddenly, a cabinet without a door becomes the norm, and what doors should have been on there become coasters for your dinner party, Ramsey would be ashamed.

Every day for the past few months I log onto my laptop and just stare at my screen, and this blog stares back at me like a rabid wolverine ready to devour either my face or my testicles, whatever is closer in reach, and neither is preferable over the other.  I look at this blog, I think about posting; and then suddenly Keyboard Cat becomes worthy of an Emmy in my mind and I go watch that for a few hours.  Suddenly, Kyle: Blogger Extraordinaire becomes Kyle: He Doesn't Like to Update Much.

And yet, here I am.  I'm still alive.  Slenderman has not abducted me, nor has a rift in time and space dumped me in the wild west where a bunch of cowboy Daleks "make me dance."  I filmed an episode or two for my youtube channel, GrapeFruitAwen.  Its a series much like Spoony's Counter Monkey.  I am still somewhat jobless, yet still marching on for a job.  I'm excited for the New York Comiccon, and there will be cosplaying!

Maybe it was the meditation and the performence of Liber Resh vel Helios, maybe it was the copious amounts of Archer and Tosh.0; but I'm back, back in the bloggin' groove!

Of Community Days and Midsummer

In a few days, it will be Midsummer, also known as the Summer Solstice.  I've already celebrated it within a community of people recently on the 16th.  The 16th was also the Community Day of a local town of which I am a member of their EMS organization.  My hometown also recently had their Community Day.  There is something about summer that makes us celebrate in happiness.  Is it that now we have come to a time of the year in which we can openly celebrate outside without worry of the cold?  Maybe all this sunlight banishes all the cabin fever some of us are likely to experience.  I know a lot of school kids celebrate with almost religious fever one thing this time of year.  School is out for the summer.

When I was younger, I used to hate the summer.  I prefered the winter, being myself a winter child.  I never felt cheated having my birthday in winter either.  I just saw it as getting presents two days in rapid succession, the 13th of December on my birthday and the 25th on Christmas (and yes, I am quite aware that my birthday is technically in the fall, but I always felt more associated with winter).  I also got to see my friends, whom, during the summer, were to busy with vacations and hanging out with kids who were, let's face it, much cooler than I.  Summer was also the time of year that my archnemesis came out, the bees and wasps!  Yes, I am a apiphobic or a melissophobic, depending on what term you are more familiar with, since they are basically the same.

However, as I grew older, and I embraced my connections with the natural world, I grew more appreciative of the summer.  I also noticed that embracing the summer also lead me to embrace a more open and friendly me.  I was always friendly, mind you, but I was always closed off, philosophical, and withdrawn in my thoughts to fully know others unless they broke through my defenses.  So, much like embracing the summertime, I embraced my "shadow of light" who was a more outgoing version of myself. 

Although I am still scared shitless of bees and wasps... oh well... one thing at a time I guess.  At least after a small life-changing experience, I don't run in fear anymore, just a brisk walk in the opposite direction lol :P

Snow White and the Huntsman, and living in the Boonies

I am basically doing nothing but sit down and watch nothing but Kitchen Nightmares and Doctor Who later, and a Wal-Mart trip, ooooooooooooooooooooh so exciting.  But this what happens when one lives kind of in the boonies.  Most of my friends don't live near me, so I make do with the internet, Facebook being a major help, when it's not giving me grief on logging in with my Android.  I mean, what business does some random bloke in Illinois want with hacking my profile?

So yesterday, I hung out with my friend Kellie and we decided to watch Snow White and the Huntsman.  I feel a bit odd going into this, having already watch both Brad Jones and Noah Antwiler (The Cinema Snob and Spoony respectively) give their takes on the movie.  She wanted to see it for a while, and I just wanted to see Chris Hemsworth, my new favorite Australian actor.  I didn't think it was too bad a movie, at least I now have evidence that Kristen Stewart actually can act, well sort of.  My chief complaint is that it feels like we're watching a movie with ADHD, going from location to event on a whim it seems.  I make the comparison to other Fantasy/Adventure movies like Lord of the Rings.  In LOTR, they do go to many locales, but each locale had a purpose and a personality and history to it.  You could feel attachment to Rivendell and to Minas Tirath, and revile places like Mordor, and celebrate Helm's Deep, and feel loss with Moria.  Here in Snow White Land, not so much.  I mean, there's the Dark Forest, and then suddenly a Fairy Forest, and then just regular every day forest, and forest in winter.  I made the riff that they were just walking in circles in the same forest when Snow White makes mention about being somewhere before.  What can I say that those two luminaries of reviewing and comedy gold haven't said, besides making 101 Dream Lord jokes about the one dwarf, since he played the Dream Lord on the Doctor Who episode Amy's Choice.

To Whom this may Concern:

Welcome to my place where I shall post my musings, thoughts, commentaries, poems, etc.  Before I begin the obligatory first post, I am going to admit that I am going to break the first cardinal rule of blogging, which is post on a regular schedule.  This I will not do.  I will post when I freaking feel like it!  However, I promise at least a post a week or something.

Anyway, let me introduce myself.  I am Kyle.  I live in the New Jersey side of the Lehigh Valley (which is basically only Warren County).  I love to travel, especially to interesting locales and such.  I am a Zelda Fanatic and a total Whovian.  I always like to write, and I haven't in a while, and I'm hoping this will get me back into writing.  I have four cats, and I'm a cat guy, I just find them adorable.  I would say I'm a Spiritual guy, but I tend not to make a big deal out of it.  I tend to a pretty closed book when it comes to my emotions.  Sometimes that and my shyness are my biggest detriments.  I do gaming videos on my youtube channel (GrapeFruitAwen).  It's named as such because Grapefruit was a nickname I had once, and Awen is a Celtic term for poetic inspiration.  I'm also going to start posting videos there as well, since there are currently none.  I love decorating things, and if I took the time to clean a bit in my room, I would have more things decorated.  A meeting point of home decorating and traveling means that I have quite a few maps.  I have a pretty nice globe, a globe of the moon, a reproduction of a world map dating back to the 1600's, a more modern map, and a map of the first world of Dragon Warrior III (because it is basically our world, and it's also one of my favorite video games).

That's me in a nutshell...