Wow, it sure has been a while since my last blogpost. Can't really say that it was a nice vacation, I didn't really go anywhere, and it was more of "I don't want to write because of the fact that I had like three emotional breakdowns." Oh, and finally getting a job doesn't help maters much as well.
But I think the world knew I wouldn't stay away for long. Isn't that right China? A big ni-hao to the insurgence of Chinese viewers.
But let us get on topic. So recently my girlfriend, her mom, her mom's boyfriend, and I went to go see The Conjuring!
Before I get into my list of criticisms, and, by Jove, are there a lot of them, let me say some good points. The film is successful as a horror film. as it had "true" events to work with, the horror was balanced with some pretty scenes and comedy, besides the riffing comedy we added. More on that later. The acting was pretty good, it was believable to a point. I enjoy paranormal investigation stuff, and I enjoyed seeing a debunking at one point of the film. Usually such films make it seem like every haunting has some sort of ghost, elemental, or demon waiting around the shadowy corner. Maybe the plumber cut corners and crappily put in your pipes?
But speaking of demons, we must get to why this movie is secretly horrible, and I mean, balls rippingly horrible in secret.
Towards the beginning of the actual investigation the movie is about, Ed Warren talk to the dad about demonic possession, and if the kids were baptised, and then tells the dad that baptism was basically an urgent requirement for protection. Um, okay, before we continue, let me say that I am no enemy to faith. I am a Buddhist as well as a person who prays to the Greco-Roman Gods, if anything, I have enough faith to last me this lifetime. However, I do not see a time of crisis: physical, mental, or spiritual, as a time to proselytize, I think such a thing is immoral. Also, for being such a protective power against demons and other spiritually icky things, I wonder why then does it seem that Christians are the most assaulted by demons?
Also, if non-Christian spirituality attracts demons, as is suggested in more recent times by Lorraine Warren, I should be swimming in demons, much like St. Anthony. The statues of the Gods and Buddhas, my two malas, shit I bought from the New Age store (like the Reiki charged candles, which I bought mainly because they smelled good), and let's not forget the time I opened my girlfriend's keychain Ouija Board in my room and moved the planchette across the board. Damn, soon ghosts will be dragging me off my bed and head first into closets and vomiting blood into my mouth.
TIME TO MOVE!
This movie was an insult not only to non-Christian spirituality, but also to the religion that the movie seemed to lift high up on a pedestal, Catholicism. I'm not doubting that Ed and Lorraine were not devout Catholics, I would never do that. However, isn't there supposed to be some sort of protocall before an exorcism, including fasting and ritual preperation? And isn't that a type of training usually given to a priest, or is usually undergone by one? Much like I would doubt any Tom, Dick, or Sylvia claiming to practice authentic Tantra, I think a non-trained person doing an exorcism is a bit insulting to the tradition behind it. I'm surprised the demon didn't pull a Jonah Hill and claim that the power of Christ wasn't really that compelling.
Beyond the movie being preachy, the movie seemed to be more of a hagiography of Ed and Lorraine Warren than a movie about the haunting and investigation. I came to see this investigation. I came to see ghosts and shit I haven't seen since The Exorcist. Instead, we are treated to a look in the daily life of the Warrens. While it was a nice look, it would have been more fitting for a biography than a horror film. In fact, and interview with Andrea Perron on The Blaze (which I am not linking to due the me not wanting this site infected with Glenn Beck cooties lmao) states that some parts of the investigation were even left out (perhaps to make room for more hagiographical scenes).
But at least the family knew when it was TIME TO MOVE.
I didn't leave the theater insulted. I guess some of the more insulting bits came more in the sense of Fridge Horror than anything else. I had more pressing issues at hand, like where to drive to drop off people and such. But the more I sat and thought, the more I realized that, under the layers of a decent film, was this festering hole of preachiness and a hagiography that, while interesting, had no place in this film.
