I'll See The Hobbit When It Comes To DVD

A while back I mentioned an incident that happened in Philly in which my truck (which, being a Whovian, I lovingly call the Tardis) got towed for blocking a driveway.  Well, it also happened to be my birthday, and what a birthday it was.  My very close friend (whom, from this point forward, after getting permission, will be called by her first name, which is Destiny) invited me down to see her at Temple University, and she graciously helped ne foot the tow bill to reclaim it.
Today Destiny also saw The Hobbit in theaters.  How do these things relate, well, grab a seat and I will tell you.
My original plans for my birthday were the day before to go hang out with Destiny, sleep over, hang out some more, then drive home, EMT class, then Hobbit with my D&D buddies.  And, in a very National Lampoons Vacation fashion, all went topsy-turvy.  I didn't plan to have my truck towed, and I didn't plan on another day sleeping over with Destiny, not that ok complaining, mind you.  To be honest, I deeply wished that I could spend more time hanging out with her.  Destiny is just awesomeness in human form, and I'm not saying that because I know she's reading this blog, I honestly do mean that.  Destiny is the Goddess of Awesome.
Anyway, so the next night I had to drive right to work upon leaving, and Destiny needed to catch the bus home.  Going straight to work meant no Hobbit.  I have yet to go see The Hobbit.  Destiny going today only reminded me that I have yet to do my belated birthday plan that I have been procrastinating on for so long.
I think its because I see movie-going as a social thing, something to do with family or friends.  Going alone just reminds me of how alone I tend to be.  Thing is, and I really hate to turn this post into a sob story, I haven't really hung out with friends before like a year and a half ago.  Middle and High School I spent as a loner, well, if by loner I mean that no one really wanted to hang out with me.  Plus, to quote a preview for the next season of Archer, my "atypical form of autism" (note, I'm undiagnosed, most likely its either Social Anxiety or Aspergers) as I jokingly call it tends to keep me quiet and withdrawn.  So hanging out with people on a regular basis is, well, I'm not saying its alien, but its alien.
I'm sure my D&D buddies or even Destiny wouldn't mind seeing it twice, after all we are all proud nerdy people, but for the time being, I think I might just wait for it to come on DVD.
Wait...before I'm done...one last thing.  I have been uploading these posts from a Blogger app on my phone, and I am aware they format weirdly, just look at the pics from the last post.  I will probably go back and edit them tomorrow after my early Christmas dinner.  Also, next post, NAKED PALADINS!!!!!

Yule and the Apocalypse

Tomorrow is Yule, the Winter Solstice, placed in the throws of Saturnalia, and right before the holidays of Dies Natali Sol Invicti and Christmas.  Astrologically, it is the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere and the beginning of winter, while in the south it is the longest day and the beginning of summer, their summer solstice.  Either way, a day to celebrate that big burning ball of plasma we named after the Teutonic goddess of the Sun, Sunna.

Tomorrow, according to he New Age Movement, charlatans, and those who think they know the Mayan, is also the END OF THE WORLD!!!

Yes, expect major climactic upheaval and doom and gloom on a planetwide basis.  People in northern Europe can expect piece of the Bifrost Bridge to rain down, possibly destroying downtown Stockholm before Thor can do anything about it.  Also, in other news, tickets have been sold put for the epic smack down cage match between St. Michael and Lucifer "Old Serpent" Satan.  It's a match they will be talking about for the next seven years until the next cage match between Jesus "Son of God" Christ and the Old Serpent.  Also, Kalki and his entourage have been spotted in a New Delhi Mandir preparing for his encounter with Kali......

Yeah, I don't buy it either.

I mean, just ask a Mayan!

Yes, the Mayans are still around living it up like they have for a long, long time.  They live their day to day, speak Spanish, celebrate at the old pyramids, and are willing to tell any listening ear that tomorrow is not the end, or a new beginning.  It is a day like any other day, and also a day of celebrating for the ending of cycles.  Yes the Mayan people are amazing and doing decently well.  Except, however, for the mass appropriation of their ancient culture and racist remarks both promoting and denouncing 2012.  I swear, I wonder who treats this group of people worse, the believers or the skeptics, at least the believers mean well, even though they get everything wrong.
After all the jokes and the like, all that's gonna happen is that a bunch of people will freak out over nothing, life will go on as usual, and those away from the cities will get an interesting show in the sky as the sun looks like it rises in that region of the Milky Way known as the Dark Rift. Sounds ominous, but it really is not.

I feel bad for all the people taken in by the 2012 phenomena, though I can understand why...

*sits down in a comfy chair and puts my thoughtful specs on*

It's because we feel empty in a way.  In out radically changing world we have started questioning all we have held dear.  We want something to hold onto, something true, something we can share with the outside world.  Some, like myself, turned to the buried traditions of Western history and to the ancient past, becoming Hermetic Magicians, Druids, and the like.  Some have hung on to their traditional religions, either becoming fundamentalist denying the world, or transforming Christianity into something new to embrace.

And then you have the New Age practitioners, following the bastard child of Theosophy and the Human Potential Movement, pretending to talk to the Theosophical Mahatmas (ascended masters) and playing NDN, busting stargates and shit; basically becoming spiritual conquistadores cherry picking bits and pieces from the traditons they plunder without respect or honor to the tradition.  A little bit of NDN, a little bit of Theosophy, a little bit of Hinduism and UFO Cult... making a DIY tradition that worships the Ego.

I could go on forever about the virtues of syncretism and the horror of eclectic appropriation, but I'll be brief and to the point here.  One should respect the teachings of others, and not try to bastardize them in the attempt to find oneself, and especially for money, like most of the 2012 movement is about in some ways.  2012 is a cash cow, and doomsayers are milking every penny, and have been since the Harmonic Convergence of 1987, and earlier.

I do have one last prediction for tomorrow.  I predict the end of their charade, and the beginning of a more balanced, logical approach to Spirituality.

So in that regard I guess they got one thing right, a new spiritual beginning, of logic and emotion coming together in future spiritual pursuits.  And I hope the masses will stand up and say the words of the famous British rock band: we won't get fooled again!

UPDATE: I do go on forever about the virtues of syncretism and the horror of eclectic appropriation.  Links put in appropriately.

EZPass (WARNING: CLUSTER-F-BOMB)

Imagine if you will, you are driving to your job and you come up to the toll, a necessary evil that travelers get used to.  So you pull up to the lane with a booth and get your money and roll down your window.  And then the horror sets in, there is no toll booth attendant!  Panic sets in, you don't want to, or maybe can't pay the fine for just passing.  And you only have one thing to thank for this, EZPass.

So that was my predicament this morning, driving into PA through the fucking bridge when I see that the lane that's half EZCrooks and half money toll doesn't have the blinking lights on.  So I go in there and the nightmare begins.

Me: What the Hell?!?

So I lean over, maybe the person was leaning down getting his or her coffee.  No problem, I sit then and wait.  Then this wonderfully pleasant woman comes over and nicely tells me that I was forced to go through (/sarcasm).

WNW: You have to go through!

Me: I'm not going to pay the ticket they are going to send me, the lane wasn't advertised as EZPass only!

Now granted, maybe the smartest thing to do was not to troll this wonderfully nice woman into an argument, but its early, I'm tired, and EZCrooks is notorious for going after the people like hobos on a cheap hooker.  I was adamant, I was not going to pay the mother fucking fine!

So I argued with, let's call her for what she was this morning, this bitch for two minutes, enough time for the bus behind me to fortunately take pity on a young driver and let me back out, much to the chagrin of the bitch and I'm fucking sure EZCrooks were letting out demonic screams of pain because they weren't getting a damn cent.  I paid my toll, and refrained from flipping the bird as I went through the toll, triumphant in my task of not getting fucked by EZPass.  I don't look like a bitch, so why do they want to fuck me like one, yes they were, yes they were!  And I don't like getting fucked by anyone else besides Mrs. Wallis (okay, maybe a bit toooo deep into that joke lol).

This EZPass lane debacle could have been easily avoided by one simple little decision: either make the lane an EZPass lane or a toll lane, none of this halfsies bullshit, that way, the unsuspecting driver does not have to pay EZCrooks a single cent, and can travel with the comforting thought that they get the toll paid without hidden fines attached.  Take for example the PA Turnpike, they have lanes dedicated to either or, and they have warnings a decent distance back as to what lane is which.  Maybe this bridge should take a lesson from them?  Maybe?

I know, bitching about it on a blog isn't going to get me anywhere fast, but damn do I feel better after this nice little rant!

Grating Christmas Music Makes the wee Baby Jesus Cry!

Io Saturnalia!  Soon the greenery will be up and I will abscond with a very naturey pre-coke Santa statue for my Saturn Altar!

But that is not what this post is all about.  No, you want to know why I think grating Christmas music makes the wee baby Seamus... I mean... Jesus cry

Imagine if you will you are listening to the radio, maybe some Aerosmith was just playing and you are in a happy place, and then the people at the radio company decide to play "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause." Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.  The adult faking what they think a kid sounds like singing, only to come off as so grating, the cheese basically grates itself.  I guess it would be great for a taco meal, or for a Billy Mays commercial, but not for Christmas and certainly not for your frail mortal ears.  Damn, that song makes even the ears of the Gods bleed!

There is no faster way to kill the holiday groove for me than those kinds of songs.  Not even Blink 182's "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" or the classic parody "Walking 'round in Women's Underwear" can save the mutilated mood lying in a bloody pulp on the floor of my soul (yes, my soul has a floor, and a ceiling apparently).  It makes me want to burn down an entire Christmas tree farm to the ground, and punch a Salvation Army Santa right in the jaw and take his money to spend on booze to help me forget such song exist.

If you want a child to sing a Christmas song, then get a child to sing it, there are billions of them, in all shapes and sizes!  I don't think its that hard to get one to sing one.  You don't need an adult to fake the voice and fake it horribly.  Not everyone can be Nancy Cartwright or Veronica Taylor, and just because you aren't, don't have a cow man.  You probably can sing any other Christmas song in the books.

I just don't find it cute or funny, I find it very irritating, and I'm sure, deep inside, it makes the wee baby Jesus cry.

Procrastination, Work, and an Impound

Procrastination sucks, especially when tied up with work...

For those who want to know, I finally got a part time job that is seasonal, so far, not only have I not been paid, but I have somehow found a way to dig myself even deeper into the red.  And with all of this just bearing down on me, blogging is the least of my concerns.  Blogging, for all I care, could crawl into a hole and diiiiieeeee!

A lot has happened in the D&D campaign, so a short summary of what happened is in order soon.  For the most part, say goodbye to about 90% of the party, including my dear Lazlo.  But you will be introduced to his brother Amadeus, a paladin who is not your typical lawful stupid paladin and has a tendency to fight in the nude.

My job.  I sell toys and phone app products at a kiosk in a nearby mall, not close enough to be local, yet not too far to be a jaunt (to me, a jaunt is the distance between where I live to either New York City or Philadelphia).  It's an interesting job, and it makes me realize that I both want to and don't want to be a father one day.  For example, one day, a little girl will come up to me, introduce me to her teddy bear, and ask me to hug it.  So. Fucking. Adorable!

And then you have the occasional kid that comes up and in a hyperglycemic fit, says: "ohmygodcanIplaywiththetoygunprettyprettypleasecanIplaywiththetoygunIpromisenottobreakitIswearprettyprettypleaseIwantmymommytobuythisandthedrivingoneandthehelicopterandthehoverthingyandthisandthisand..."

I could really go for boneless buffalo wings from Applebees, and some rum, and maybe something to knock me out for three days.  I know thats a random channel surf, but after that little paragraph, its needed lmfao.

So I owe my very dear friend who goes to Temple University in Philly about $250.  I went to see her over my birthday and didn't check my park job.  Usually I park and go fuck all, and let others deal with my parking.  Well, sometimes they call in tow trucks to deal with bad park jobs, and sometimes these tow people are rotten crooks that, despite doing a necessary job to make sure travel and parking continue like a well oiled machine, do it in such a way that turns your wallet into a beer tap, your money the beer, and they have an aching need to get rip roaring drunk.

I am so thankful to my friend for helping me through that tough little sticky whicket.  But now I have to pay her back, being a good friend and all, and this seasonal job is not paying, being sucky with payroll and all.

And thus, procrastination, and tis blog post.