After raiding a ruined desert treasury for a Dwarven army, we encountered a Sphinx who have us a quest to seal an Efreeti inside of a lamp. After walking through a magic door, we saw the destruction said Efreeti had caused, burning down small desert towns. We managed to seal the Efreeti, and guide the displaced villagers to a nearby village.
And then, Ollie, our cleric of Olidammara, is commanded by his God to steal a precious golden urn from the town's temple to Pelor, God of the Sun...
Let me get the music started for you... Iiiiiits Bad Wolf Company's Flyyyyying Circus!
So Lazlo and Ollie head off to the temple of Pelor, but not before Lazlo meets a beautiful young maiden who immediately glomps him and becomes attached. So anyway, Ollie and Lazlo head to the temple, and while Ollie used his knowledge of religion to convince the priests to come upstairs for discussions on an addition, I planned the heist of the urn. The plan: with my insane bonuses to Bluff and Diplomacy, I could intentionally drop the urn, challenge an imaginary thief, and take the urn for fixing in the city of Kormine (which I did know a guy there who could, so that wasn't a lie). And so we roll our Bluff and Sense Motive checks.
Bluff..... 2!!!!!! A fucking two.
Sense Motive...... 19!!!!! Not even my bonuses could beat their check. Now granted, all they knew was that I was lying about the thief, the wild accusations they lept to. So a huge commotion involving all the priests in the temple and the town guard and a Zone of Truth (which I handled pretty well, so much for lies of omission being lies none-the-less), I got out with only a measly fineand banishment. Like we would ever visit this place again, ya know? And I got my revenge, I convinced enough people in the town that there was a free feast at this temple, a temple that was small and poor.
Worked out well for Ollie, and the short fuse of Vargus the Barbarian Mountain Dwarf helped things along. Ollie used the commotion to cast three spells: Obscuring Mist, Invisibility on the urn, and Disguise Self on himself to look like a Priest. Yeah, we needed to escape. And so we did, back to the magic door and into the Sphinx's domain. Lazlo stayed outside the chamber with Jess the Maiden, who convinces Lazlo that it is a good idea to become a couple (a Will save I fail miserably by the way). However, we got a nice set of treasure, including an Ioun Stone that makes the user not need to eat or drink (of course given to the one who has a ring that does the same thing), and a Robe of Useful Items for me.
So now we wondered where to go. We wanted to get far away from this desert. So Jess the Maiden suggested the city of Kormine, where they are building a huge tower that, as we guessed, could be trouble with the war between the Dwarves and Humans brewing (and us questioning the DM if he played Fable or Shin Megami Tensei). Upon reaching Kormine, it was hard to miss said tower, and the HUGE FUCKING AIRSHIP DOCKED THERE! This was not looking like a good situation for anybody involved, not at all.
And then Jess convinces Lazlo to have sex every night... (a check I also fail miserably). I think we know what Jess is by now, if not, then maybe the clue that I felt weakened, drain, and like shit in the morning (aka Level Drain) might clue you in. Despite the drain, my investigation of the tower was very fruitful. While Ollie and Vargus investigated the thieves guild (and Krusk gets bored because of the lack of combat), Lazlo investigates the airship as a whole, and discovers a plan of using slave labor to commit genocide on nearby islands so the rich can build resorts. Ethics, the Humans have none!
With a week to kill until the airship launches, we decided to take on some quests. Our first was to slay some salamanders that were attacking nearby farmlands. Before I continue, I must mention that, while in Kormine, I got my already +1 Rapier enchanted with Keen. This came in handy during this fight, in which despite being the squishiest in the group, had what could be considered one of the greatest killstreaks in the game so far, mainly thanks to sneak attack. Even Jess the Maiden comes in to help out, making us suspicious of what she really is (that and the DM threw us a small bone).
With this, the Bad Wolf Company was born! And that totally wasn't a Doctor Who reference!
I mean, granted, we were a team every since the Red Dragon we fought in a volcano (in which I almost had to roll up a new character), but we had no name. Hell, we didn't even name our horses, and we rode them through the desert. At least it was good to get out of the rain, am I right?
And so we begin quest two, here, let me get the fitting music out...
Bluff..... 2!!!!!! A fucking two.
Sense Motive...... 19!!!!! Not even my bonuses could beat their check. Now granted, all they knew was that I was lying about the thief, the wild accusations they lept to. So a huge commotion involving all the priests in the temple and the town guard and a Zone of Truth (which I handled pretty well, so much for lies of omission being lies none-the-less), I got out with only a measly fineand banishment. Like we would ever visit this place again, ya know? And I got my revenge, I convinced enough people in the town that there was a free feast at this temple, a temple that was small and poor.
Worked out well for Ollie, and the short fuse of Vargus the Barbarian Mountain Dwarf helped things along. Ollie used the commotion to cast three spells: Obscuring Mist, Invisibility on the urn, and Disguise Self on himself to look like a Priest. Yeah, we needed to escape. And so we did, back to the magic door and into the Sphinx's domain. Lazlo stayed outside the chamber with Jess the Maiden, who convinces Lazlo that it is a good idea to become a couple (a Will save I fail miserably by the way). However, we got a nice set of treasure, including an Ioun Stone that makes the user not need to eat or drink (of course given to the one who has a ring that does the same thing), and a Robe of Useful Items for me.
So now we wondered where to go. We wanted to get far away from this desert. So Jess the Maiden suggested the city of Kormine, where they are building a huge tower that, as we guessed, could be trouble with the war between the Dwarves and Humans brewing (and us questioning the DM if he played Fable or Shin Megami Tensei). Upon reaching Kormine, it was hard to miss said tower, and the HUGE FUCKING AIRSHIP DOCKED THERE! This was not looking like a good situation for anybody involved, not at all.
And then Jess convinces Lazlo to have sex every night... (a check I also fail miserably). I think we know what Jess is by now, if not, then maybe the clue that I felt weakened, drain, and like shit in the morning (aka Level Drain) might clue you in. Despite the drain, my investigation of the tower was very fruitful. While Ollie and Vargus investigated the thieves guild (and Krusk gets bored because of the lack of combat), Lazlo investigates the airship as a whole, and discovers a plan of using slave labor to commit genocide on nearby islands so the rich can build resorts. Ethics, the Humans have none!
With a week to kill until the airship launches, we decided to take on some quests. Our first was to slay some salamanders that were attacking nearby farmlands. Before I continue, I must mention that, while in Kormine, I got my already +1 Rapier enchanted with Keen. This came in handy during this fight, in which despite being the squishiest in the group, had what could be considered one of the greatest killstreaks in the game so far, mainly thanks to sneak attack. Even Jess the Maiden comes in to help out, making us suspicious of what she really is (that and the DM threw us a small bone).
With this, the Bad Wolf Company was born! And that totally wasn't a Doctor Who reference!
I mean, granted, we were a team every since the Red Dragon we fought in a volcano (in which I almost had to roll up a new character), but we had no name. Hell, we didn't even name our horses, and we rode them through the desert. At least it was good to get out of the rain, am I right?
And so we begin quest two, here, let me get the fitting music out...
Trust me, the zaniness of the Can Can is fitting!
Our second quest (and last one of the evening, due to a fight so long it makes Helms Deep look short), was to protect a sacred grove from defilers. Vargus couldn't help but laugh at the Elven worship of trees, which made our employer less than amused with us. Upon getting to the grove, we encounter a Nymph who guarded the grove, who feared the Satyrs amassing nearby (as well as worrying about the Salamanders, it's not like Elemental Gates need to be opened by Wizards or anything right? Right?), and feared for her safety. I mean, Satyrs are known for raping Nymphs.
What we didn't realize, besides how bad my Negative Levels would affect me, was that Satyrs have music, which can have magical affects on their opponents, like sleep, or making the bravest of our party (aka, Krusk) run faster than an Olympic athlete. We also didn't account for the affects Confusion and Sound Burst can have, as well as that unless its energy or cold iron, Satyrs have Damage Reduction. So much for an easy battle against a party of Satyrs!
So after being asleep for like five rounds, someone wakes me up (Jess, gotta keep the livestock safe ya know), and I proceed to show my gratitude for the lovely music by throwing powdered glass into the eyes of the chief of the Satyrs (thanks to the Spoony One for that tidbit). The DM fudged rolls in our favor just so this battle could end. I obtained the killing blow on the last Satyr with my +1 Shock Hand Crossbow, with a James Bondish one-liner to boot.
"Don't mess with a bastard, you will be bolting to death that way."
Though I wish I did something like this...
And that concluded this game session. Oh, and by the way, for the thick, Jess is a Succubus.
ADDENDUM: I want to apologize the constant shifting of referring to my character by his name (Lazlo), and with referring to myself in first-person. I'll probably stick with first person for Lazlo for future updates.
ADDENDUM: I want to apologize the constant shifting of referring to my character by his name (Lazlo), and with referring to myself in first-person. I'll probably stick with first person for Lazlo for future updates.
No comments:
Post a Comment