Musings of a Lehigh Valley Guy
Friday, July 8, 2016
Pokemon: Skoda Edition
To keep your hands warm while your pushing it.
I love Pokemon. It was one of my first RPGs, and Gold/Silver is in my top five RPG video games. Perhaps, without Pokemon, my love for D&D wouldn't exist; and then this blog wouldn't exist. It was a key growing up experience is what I am trying to say. So when Pokemon Go was announced, I squealed and orgasmed like I was trying to sell a cheap porn.
Speaking of Pokemon Go; how do you double the price of a Skoda? Toss a penny into it!
Before I go on, let me explain the Skoda. It's a cheaply made Eastern European car, and the butt of many jokes about how crappy it is. Legend has it that getting it to the top of a hill was a miracle, and that going down that hill was one of the only ways to pass forty miles per hour! With that said; Pokemon Go is sadly like the Skoda. Don't get me wrong, the game is ambitious and fun... when you get it working. Catching Pokemon has never been so fun. It has also made me exercise more, and such things help with my dreaded depression. I'm sure, over time, this game will be totally awesome!
It's just not awesome now.
Why did the Skoda cross the road?
It was supposed to be going along it but the steering failed!
My fiance and I spent the better part of the day after lauch lookin at this screen:
Now, granted, this is not an uncommon occurrence with freshly launched MMO titles of any stripe. However, usually companies quickly adapt or else fall behind and get low marks. Pokemon Go is falling behind. It is now day three, and still it's not uncommon to see the above screen.
It's also not unusual to have my avatar pulling a Walt Disney; standing still for long lengths of time as I walk down the street, around the corner and into a nearby locale. All that time, my avatar is enjoying the comforts of my living room, playing with my XBox and eating all of my homemade chicken strips. Pokeballs have game freezing powers that rival Sonic '06. Seriously, how many Caterpie have I lost, even a Koffing! Thankfully a second one popped up. I have also read that some people had lost items and even evolving pokemon during random freeze-ups and crashes.
Why is a skoda and a baby similar?
They both never go anywhere without a rattle!
There is one major difference between Pokemon Go and the ill-fated Skoda. The game will improve, and only become better. The game itself is a lot of fun despite being buggy. And buggy it is, don't even get me started on the PokeDex! Pokemon Go is not a crappy game. It's only the launch that was horrible!
Chest in the Attic: When Elves were Elves
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Chest in the Attic: Sticks and Stones CAN Break Your Bones
Saturday, April 30, 2016
The Many Names of Drizzt Do'Urden
Drizzt Do'Urden... Obviously
Dr. Zit Do'Surgery
Drizzle-tits Dance'Tassel
Drizzle Fo'Shizzle
Deedee McElf
Mary Sue
Dick Do'Scrotalplay
Popularizer of Elf Ragers... Everywhere
Fuckin' Elf Names
R.A. Salvatore's dude
Drit-Zitz D'Emoelf
Gary Stu
Drzzt D'rdn
Tyler Durden
Drizzit D'Urden (how I alwayd used to spell it)
Most overplayed character race since 2003
Drizzt Do'IWannaBeTanis
Peter Parker/Spider Man
Toby Maguire
Grandpa's racist terminology that I am ashamed of
Elfkin Fap Material
Drizzt In Every Forgotten Realms Game
Drizzt I'msexierthanLegolas
Benedict Cumberbatch
The Elf equivalent of Disney's Frozen
Drizztitzdirzititz, the typist electrocuted himself
Ted Cruz/Zodiac Killer
That guy with the dual scimitars
Keezer Dröwze
The Good Drow
The Good Drow's Garden
Other puns on The Good Witch series
Seriously how many Good Witch movies are there?
Sarah Manning
Drotzle the German Drow
Drizzle-tits... Wait... I said that one
Faerun's Daredevil
...yup, that about does 'er. Wraps 'er all up.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Chest in the Attic: Unboxing Karameikos: Kingdom of Adventure
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My old group in New Jersey and my current one in Orlando know I am a Mystaraphile. I have so many pdfs, mainly Threshold and the old Gazetteers. Yet, I have had no physical Mystara item.... until now!
Before I crawl in, I want to make you aware that, yes, I am aware of what a lot of the Mystara community thinks of the AD&D Box Sets, excluding the Red Steel ones. While not reviled, many state they do not hold up a candle to the old Gazetteers. I will leave my thoughts on the matter by saying that I personally disagree, but I can see where they are coming from. I have read the old Gazetteer for Karameikos, and love it deeply. It made the Grand Duchy/Kingdom my favorite setting with its realism and detail.
I got the box set because I came across a pdf of it and wanted to find a hard copy. That, and I have AD&D books but no Classical BECMI in hard copy. Let me state that the art is beautiful, and I can't wait to play a game in this setting.
Now let us get into the unboxing!
Thursday, April 21, 2016
The Dark Little Hole
Falling into Depression
Dying, Slowly
Feeling, Badly
Walking, Thusly
Falling, Deeply
Crying, Lonely
Struggling, Silently
Some times it's hard to say what's needed
The hero's subdued and the coward succeeded
Drowning, Quickly
Thinking, Deadly
Climbing, Sadly
Resting, Eternally
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I wanted to write a blog post about something big in my life. It's not the living in Florida or the engagement, I will write about them later. Instead, let's talk about depression. Yes depression, that little black rain cloud that floats above your head that only you can see. That rain only you can feel. I have always personified it as something that almost looks like Abraxas, a chicken headed beinn; except having tentacles instead of serpent legs. It carries a lasso in my personification, or perhaps a noose. But, no matter how you view it in your mind's eye, depression is that all consuming mental state that drowns out even the brightest lights. It sucks, plain and simple.
I have had depression since I was sixteen years old. Sophmore year of high school was really rough. After that I was good for quite a few years until I was twenty-two. Even in that good time, however, many things were dull and subdued. I shut people out of my life and withdrew into my room. Buddhist philosophy and praxis, as well as a good dose of friends and D&D, started to turn things around. But that pit was always there, waiting for me to slip and fall in. And that was when I was twenty-two.
Things got bad, really fast. Ironically, it was when I had my first job that wasn't either under the table or seasonal. On September 7th of 2013, I almost took my own life. I was hospitalized for the entire evening. The hospital psychiatrist wanted me to be held from between 24-72 hours, but a telecommuted psychiatrist, as well as the charge nurse, deemed me well enough to go home. Ever since then, it had been monthly meetings with a state ordained therapist and weekly meetings with a personal therapist. Soon the monthly meetings died down and the weekly visits became bi-weekly. I was put on Lexapro for a while, but I felt more negatively impacted by it than helped. Plus, let's face it, guys like to do something known as ejaculate, and Lexapro doesn't really help.
My personal therapist was the one who helped me realize that depression sometimes doesn't go away. It's like it rewires your brain to be predisposed to sadness. It took me a while to be okay with that. He also warned that sometimes it can come and go in waves. That is part of the reason I stopped blogging in 2014, it came back again. I also became busy working in the direct support field and dating Krista, as well as focusing on myself. I needed that time. Time affects all things. I grew more comfortable in the group home I worked in, I DM'd for a short time, and I asked Krista to marry me.
Thoughout this whole time, still that pit sits there. Some days I stand on the edge, they are more common than not. Yet days are coming where I don't even see that hole in the ground. I know that those days won't last, it will probably cycle around again a few years later. However, now I have climbing gear and I know how to fall and not hurt myself. The poem above reflects the fear I have that such things would not be enough, a lot of depressed people have that fear. Yet I remain hopeful that everything I learned has made me strong, a warrior in the mental arts. I've studied so much on how to find contentment in the everyday world. So when that Abraxas-like monster comes around again, I am ready!