Io Saturnalia! Soon the greenery will be up and I will abscond with a very naturey pre-coke Santa statue for my Saturn Altar!
But that is not what this post is all about. No, you want to know why I think grating Christmas music makes the wee baby Seamus... I mean... Jesus cry
Imagine if you will you are listening to the radio, maybe some Aerosmith was just playing and you are in a happy place, and then the people at the radio company decide to play "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause." Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. The adult faking what they think a kid sounds like singing, only to come off as so grating, the cheese basically grates itself. I guess it would be great for a taco meal, or for a Billy Mays commercial, but not for Christmas and certainly not for your frail mortal ears. Damn, that song makes even the ears of the Gods bleed!
There is no faster way to kill the holiday groove for me than those kinds of songs. Not even Blink 182's "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" or the classic parody "Walking 'round in Women's Underwear" can save the mutilated mood lying in a bloody pulp on the floor of my soul (yes, my soul has a floor, and a ceiling apparently). It makes me want to burn down an entire Christmas tree farm to the ground, and punch a Salvation Army Santa right in the jaw and take his money to spend on booze to help me forget such song exist.
If you want a child to sing a Christmas song, then get a child to sing it, there are billions of them, in all shapes and sizes! I don't think its that hard to get one to sing one. You don't need an adult to fake the voice and fake it horribly. Not everyone can be Nancy Cartwright or Veronica Taylor, and just because you aren't, don't have a cow man. You probably can sing any other Christmas song in the books.
I just don't find it cute or funny, I find it very irritating, and I'm sure, deep inside, it makes the wee baby Jesus cry.
Procrastination sucks, especially when tied up with work...
For those who want to know, I finally got a part time job that is seasonal, so far, not only have I not been paid, but I have somehow found a way to dig myself even deeper into the red. And with all of this just bearing down on me, blogging is the least of my concerns. Blogging, for all I care, could crawl into a hole and diiiiieeeee!
A lot has happened in the D&D campaign, so a short summary of what happened is in order soon. For the most part, say goodbye to about 90% of the party, including my dear Lazlo. But you will be introduced to his brother Amadeus, a paladin who is not your typical lawful stupid paladin and has a tendency to fight in the nude.
My job. I sell toys and phone app products at a kiosk in a nearby mall, not close enough to be local, yet not too far to be a jaunt (to me, a jaunt is the distance between where I live to either New York City or Philadelphia). It's an interesting job, and it makes me realize that I both want to and don't want to be a father one day. For example, one day, a little girl will come up to me, introduce me to her teddy bear, and ask me to hug it. So. Fucking. Adorable!
And then you have the occasional kid that comes up and in a hyperglycemic fit, says: "ohmygodcanIplaywiththetoygunprettyprettypleasecanIplaywiththetoygunIpromisenottobreakitIswearprettyprettypleaseIwantmymommytobuythisandthedrivingoneandthehelicopterandthehoverthingyandthisandthisand..."
I could really go for boneless buffalo wings from Applebees, and some rum, and maybe something to knock me out for three days. I know thats a random channel surf, but after that little paragraph, its needed lmfao.
So I owe my very dear friend who goes to Temple University in Philly about $250. I went to see her over my birthday and didn't check my park job. Usually I park and go fuck all, and let others deal with my parking. Well, sometimes they call in tow trucks to deal with bad park jobs, and sometimes these tow people are rotten crooks that, despite doing a necessary job to make sure travel and parking continue like a well oiled machine, do it in such a way that turns your wallet into a beer tap, your money the beer, and they have an aching need to get rip roaring drunk.
I am so thankful to my friend for helping me through that tough little sticky whicket. But now I have to pay her back, being a good friend and all, and this seasonal job is not paying, being sucky with payroll and all.
I once stated that alternating weekly posts, D&D Stories and Table Plan, would be a major feature on this blog, and so far, I have in general kept to that... with D&D Stories. However, Table Plan kind of fell to the wayside. What gives Kyle, what gives! Well I would blame this on plain old laziness and putting off Table Plan, but the truth is much more simpler. After all, Occam's Razor and all.
The truth is, I don't really know what to say or talk about with it. I could make it into a monthly thing, so I would have more time to plan, but then it would be the mental equivalent of "out of sight, out of mind." The other thing is that when it comes to DMing, I really don't have many experiences to draw from, and when it comes to world/adventure building, I'm very good with flavor and building a setting. Once I get down to plot and such, I am kind of mediocre, and don't get me started on maps. My thought process on maps is "oh boy, I hope that map is free to use!"
I guess that's why the best DM/GMs have a "help me help you" attitude when it comes to their campaigns. Take, for example, the game I am in now, the one "The Fearless Dragon Slayers" is about. We are not a brute force hack'n'slash "I lift things up and put them down" kind of party. We are a party that is more set on urban and discovery type adventures, with a type of combat that should be worked with a synergistic style (a Rogue with a keen weapon with sneak attack, think of the possibilities). Only one party member is the one set up for combat, but even he has a good role to play in the kind of adventure style we suggested, as a body-guard and an acrobat. Kal and Lazlo are definitely squishy while Boots and Ollie are somewhat squishy, but Krusk is a fucking beast on the battlefield!
Now that our DM knows this, he can now whip us up adventures that can work on this. I can schmooze and sneak attack, Kal can buff and debuff, and Ollie can ask for "donations" to the church of Olidammara and so on and so forth. It's like sex, you have to tell your partner what you like, and your partner has to let you know what he/she likes. Words like harder and faster should not be a discouragement, but a chance to commit and make things awesome! Same with campaigns. You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is turning into a Table Plan?
While on the subject, post-game, we all sat down and talked of this very thing, and the possibility of making our own setting came up. This is "help me help you" in it's ultimate form, and by the Gods is it brilliant!
I went and saw Skyfall, the new 007 movie at midnight. I must say, it is now one of my favorites definitely. Beforehand, I also started reading Carte Blanche, the new 007 novel. So, despite all the amazing James Bond stuff from yesterday, there is only one thing I have to say:
I must admit, that last one there has to be my favorite, and I still laugh looking at it lmao.
I know this was supposed to be up a week and two days ago, but with the hurricane and general laziness and busyness, here I am posting a short and sweet version of this today:
So we got back to town from slaying the Satyrs, passing a party of adventurers on the way back who were coming to do the job we just did (and one of the is a Paladin, one too lazy to detect evil). Upon returning to the in, we get hired by a guy named Jonusa who owns a mansion outside of Kormine. He wanted to sponsor the party, as well as hire them to get rid of ghosts in his house. While exploring his mansion, we discover a secret room with a diary in the basement (and a way to get to the room from the pantry). At dinner, we meet with Kel, a half-elf (actually half-drow, but hey, we can't figure out the Jess the Maiden is a succubus with all the evidence presented, so Kel will be a hal-elf until the day we die). Kel is the replacement character for Vargus, who, that night, tries to investigate a ghost while the rest of the party is too busy to notice (and I'm too busy getting drained in two ways by a succubus ;) lol).
Knowing from a ghostly encounter we had with Jonusa's wife's ghost, we barge into his room and break into the attic, in which we find a Flesh Golem!
Yes, we are fighting a Flesh Golem, in a thunder-storm, while it is attached to a lightning rod. This is not going to end well. Plus, only Krusk can damage it. So I was, in general, useless this battle. However, since most of the Flesh Golem was Jonusa's late wife, and he had to steal and grave-rob for the other parts (as well as acts of necromancy), we had to bring him to justice, so our Lawful Good half-orc fighter suggested. I tried to reason with Jonusa, where he would sponsor us for free, but he still refused, and I try to pistol whip him with my hand crossbow. So when he ran off to get us arrested for assault, I took the Flesh Golem body into the main atrium, so when the town guard walks in, they see a nice lovely pile of rotting flesh on the carpet (as well as a missing painting and a few missing candlesticks, maybe not the brightest idea).
Kel casts a Rope Trick to send us into an extradimensional space, into which Ollie tried to bring a Bag of Holding into. So yeah, we narrowly avoided the end of the world in our DM's setting (or something equivalent to Bart's megaphone prank combined with FUS RO DAH). Again, I get drained by the succubus (I should mention that Vargus before his death gave me his Cloak of Resistance). However, the next day, while getting ready to go on the airship from before, Kel almost discovers the succubus, however, her magical wiles win the day for her, but now we are heavily suspicious. Another thing we become suspicious about is how suddenly, Ollie cannot cast spells. That, and the slave labor of the ship being enchanted somehow, and excited and nervous to go see "the Master."
Trust me, I wish!
So we get to the island, to find a tower, and to find Ollie tied up in the bowels of the ship. As it turned out, a doppleganger was investigating what was going on, and disguised itself first as Ollie, and then as the captain. So "the Master" turns out to be a Mind Flayer. Oh joy! And yes, most of us get charmed besides Ollie (the real Ollie), and Kel. Doesn't last long, since the Mind Flayer accidentally attacked us, dispelling it's charm.
And so the fight begins! I draw first blood with a crossbow bolt at a charmed crewman. So yes, we have to slaughter our way through the crew. I sure hope someone survives who can fly the ship. Kel casts fly on Krusk, who is now fighting a flying Mind Flayer (the MF cast fly in himself, or itself, can't tell gender with aberrations). So now picture this awesome scene before you go to bed tonight: A human firing a hand crossbow while getting attacked by the captain of the airship while a flying half-orc fights a flying mind flayer with a spear... AWESOME! I asked a few artistic friends of mine to try and make that scene an actual print, hopefully I can show it off on here in the future!
Oh yeah, and the captain, remember how I told him my name was Roxlin, well in a scene Quentin Tarantino would have loved, I have a "the name is Bond, James Bond" moment, and begin carving my name into his body.
So I go from James Bond to Pulp Fiction
Well needless to say, we win the battle, some of the crew survived, and the captain will forever know that my name is not Roxlin Oxlin. Oh, but what killed the Mind Flayer? Well, Jess the maiden was charmed, and upon getting uncharmed, was so angry a Vrock came in and killed the Mind Flayer, totally not because we were about to have a TPK at all.
"Is voting! I am glad to not only take part in
a huge election, but to continue this ancient tradition of the popular
vote stretching all the way back to the Greeks :)"
-My post on Facebook
I did it, I continued this wonderful and ancient tradition of the popular vote, that we have a right to control our own lives. It is a very empowering experience to be honest. I have voted before, but never before have I voted in an event so big (and polarized). At this moment I just want to state that I do not care who you vote for, I just care that you vote. Sure, I would hope one candidate would become elected over the other for president, and that I hope another candidate would get enough votes to be noticed by the media that we are more than two parties; but despite that, just voting is what's important (and in all actuality, if it wasn't so close a race, I would have voted for Gary).
Why is voting so important? We are a nation born of the Enlightenment, born on Enlightenment values, that all men are equal and free. I know some of our Founding Fathers were slave owners and that all men originally meant all white men, no one is perfect, and neither is any society perfect, but what matter is that today we really do try to live up to that principal of equality. All democratic systems, whether Republic or Parliament or the like, are all based on what the people want. From modern countries like the USA, the UK, Japan, etc.; and all the way back to the city-state of Athens, democracy was considered a virtue, despite all of its flaws. I to, love democracy, flaws and all.
I also am proud that voting and democracy is a Pagan tradition. I really don't want this to turn into a Pagan blog. Yes, I am a Pagan, but that is not what this blog is all about. This blog is about my life, and my commentary on life, and while Paganism plays a role in it, it's not the end all be all of this blog. That being said, I am proud of those ancient ancestors, devoted to Athena, who upheld and were one of the first to practice the popular vote. To the Greeks, even the Gods voted! I to, love that we find mythic meaning in the vote, even today.
But in the end, I am glad to not only take part in
a huge election, but to continue this ancient tradition of the popular
vote stretching all the way back to the Greeks. And I hope in the far-flung future, in an interplanetary society, we still vote to elect our leaders.
Boy Hurricane (and yes, hurricane, not super-storm or stormaggedon, or the end of the world, see my previous post for all about that) Sandy was a doozy!
Not much to report, survived the storm, survived a power outage, and survived cabin fever (Skype Mobile with a very amazing person helped out a lot). Not much to report, only to let everyone know that I am okay.
To any of my readers who were also affected by the storm, I hope you are okay to. I hope you didn't lose too much, and I hope what was lost can eventually be replaced or fixed. And remember, in the end, I hope you have the most important thing, people to be with at this time. Some people find the idea of the power of love and friendship to be a sappy cliche, but it is a cliche for a reason, because it freaking works.
Kitties showing off a good example of friendship
May the Gods watch over and bless you. It's not often I get all spiritual, but in the face of this, it's hard not to. May you be wrapped in the arms of the Goddess and guarded by her aegis. May the Spirits of Place ward you as you return to your homes if you lived in an area really affected by the storms.
Last but not least, I hope you can find joy in the moment. Some people like to just dive on into the depression moments like this can cause, especially when there is confusion and hype. Find some joy, find something humorous despite it all, that way, you know your soul hasn't been defeated.
